In the last few years I’ve noticed many magazines, news pieces and articles exploring why more and more successful people feel like frauds or imposters in their own lives.
Inside, you get the sensation of feeling like a fake, of living a life where you pretend to believe, to like, and to do what you think others might expect and accept from you.
While inside you, a dark emptiness grows, you feel a lack of motivation, increased anxiety, rampant perfectionism, and a fear of making mistakes.
The result over time is that you end up remaining the same for the rest of your life. If you feel incapable of taking action, of making mistakes, then you can’t learn anything; under these conditions, personal evolution is extremely limited.
On the other side, to be true to yourself is to embrace yourself at 100%, to give yourself to the present moment, not holding back your innate capacity to succeed and enjoy, while always taking care of your needs.
Let’s say you go to a yoga class, and you attempt one asana. In that exact moment, to be true to yourself means to give your best attempt during the time you’re in that posture while making sure you don’t strain too much and hurt yourself.
You must also breathe while in that asana, to become one with that asana, creating no internal or external resistance, having no need to prove anything to anyone. If you fall or lose balance, you accept it without judgment or criticism. You observe, sense and feel, and then you learn and make the necessary corrections each time you try it again.
In order to feel authentic, it’s useful to perceive yourself as ever-changing. You are never the same person. Also, every moment is unique, even if it seems similar to something you’ve experienced before, it can’t possibly be the same exact moment.
Understand that it’s not about you holding into an ideal, an expectation or behavior that remains consistent over time. Remaining compassionate, loving, open, flexible, and ready to shift according to the needs and demands of the present time will save you endless pain and unnecessary suffering.
When you are true to yourself, you can welcome and even enjoy making mistakes, because you know that they are nourishment to be able to grow, learn, and evolve.
The more you allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them, the more you can remain aware in the present moment. If you relax and enjoy whatever happens to be going on, you become naturally immersed in what’s happening, rather than stuck believing in mental storylines.
On the contrary, when your mind starts thinking too much about something, you imagine yourself in the past or to the future, you get fearful of life and critical of yourself and others, and you block out possibilities and opportunities from your awareness.
To be true to yourself means your mind and body are connected in harmony and alive! You become assertive, without a need to manipulate or create drama. You love and embrace the mystery of being you. No repression, no judgment; just pure fun, gratitude, and joy.
“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”
-Paulo Coelho, Brida
Paula.